Al Pacino confirms "there's nothing there" after we die— "You're gone"

Al Pacino nearly died in 2020, the Oscar-winner revealed in a recent New York Times profile. The good news is, he's fine. Despite not having a pulse for a few seconds, the titan of stage and screen—and one-half of Sylvester Stallone's "The Titans"—fired back against the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and returned to the physical plane. Unfortunately, he was carrying some bad news with him: There's nothing on the other side.

Pacino disagrees with eons of promises from religious leaders, doctrine, and texts, from the Bible to South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, arguing that if we lead decent lives and are kind to our neighbors, we'll spend eternal bliss alongside our deceased loved ones, playing harps, lounging on clouds, and trying on newer, ever more stylish halos in the Great Beyond. Sadly, "There's nothing there," the Scent Of A Woman actor confidently asserted.

In 2020, roughly a year before the COVID-19 vaccine, Pacino contracted a nasty infection. At the time, the Godfather star recalled feeling "unusually not good." He had a fever and was dehydrated frequently. While waiting for a nurse, Pacino "was sitting there in my house, and I was gone. Like that. I didn't have a pulse."

"I had about six paramedics in that living room, and there were two doctors, and they had these outfits on that looked like they were from outer space or something," Pacino continued. "It was kind of shocking to open your eyes and see that. Everybody was around me, and they said: 'He's back. He's here.'"

Unfortunately, Pacino returned to the mortal realm with some distressing information: When you die, you die. Tempting fate, New York Times writer David Marchese asked if there were any "metaphysical ripples" from the thespian's journey, but Pacino, leaning on the immortal Bard for support, confirmed that after we die, there is no perchance to dream.

"I didn't see the white light or anything," Pacino said. "There's nothing there. As Hamlet says, 'To be or not to be'; 'The undiscovered country from whose bourn, no traveler returns.' And he says two words: 'no more.' It was no more. You're gone. I'd never thought about it in my life. But you know actors: It sounds good to say I died once. What is it when there's no more?"

Sorry for disappointing anyone who is banking on reconnecting with Grandma in the great hereafter and getting so morbid on a Sunday morning. But in the words of Mr. Pacino: "I don't find this morbid, man."