My husband throws a tantrum whenever I refuse sex, especially after he’s had a few drinks

DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband gets grumpy and has a tantrum whenever I say no to sex, especially when he has had a few drinks.

In fact, he behaves like an overgrown teenager most of the time, and I’m sick of it.

We’ve been married for three years and a couple for seven. I’m 34 and he’s 33.

He often sleeps in till 12, throws his dirty clothes on the floor, smokes cannabis in our living room and drinks far too much.

He still likes going clubbing with his mates, rolling home at 3am.

When we first got together I overlooked his flaws because I was blinded by love and lust.

He’s handsome, a talented artist and writer, as well as very funny and charming.

I’d never met anyone as creative or interesting as him and he could laugh me into bed.

But over the last couple of years, as our relationship has become more mundane, his faults have started to bother me more and more.

I am beginning to think about having a family, but I know there’s no way he is capable of being a responsible father.

In fact, if we had a baby, I’d be looking after two kids! He’s promised to change, but I have seen no sign of it.

DEIDRE SAYS: Creative men can seem very appealing, but nobody wants to be stuck with Peter Pan forever.

You need to talk seriously to your husband and make it clear he needs to get his act together or your marriage won’t last.

It may be that he needs help with his drinking.

Read my support pack, Dealing With A Problem Drinker. Point out you don’t want to change him entirely, but you do need more help around the house.

Some couples counselling could help, if he’s open to it. Contact Tavistock Relationships (tavistockrelationships.org.uk).