I, A Commoner, Ranked Nicky Haslam's 2024 'Common Things' By How Much I Enjoy Them

If you aren’t already familiar, Nicky Haslam ― an interior designer and socialite, of the “interior designer and socialite” class ― shares a tongue-in-cheek list of things he sees as “common” every year. 

Selfridges then prints the old Etonian’s list onto a £50 tea towel, providing a failsafe Christmas gift for “napkin vs serviette” debaters nationwide.

This year, the swirling font spelt society snubs for lovers of WhatsApp, rescue dogs, and luxury cinemas. 

So, I thought I ― a woman whose family tree could spread over half a forest before spurting a single leaf among the pages of Debrett’s, and who still thinks Vienetta is a bit posh ― would see how his theories held up. 

Here’s my top, and bottom, five entries. 

He got me with these:

1) WhatsApp

Just handy, isn’t it?

2) Kilts at weddings

People do sometimes live in Scotland for reasons other than Edinburgh uni, shooting, and reeling.

3) Not having first course at dinner

Does dinner mean lunch? I can’t remember. Either way, I’m afraid he’s right.

4) Unpeeled tomatoes

Yum! You know?

5) Rescue dogs

Maybe I’m just fond because my own pedigree is so poor. 

As for where he got us wrong, I reckon some entries are hated across the divide:

-5) Gender reveals 

No normal person wants to watch a twitching father-to-be drool in hopes that the sad sponge under Playdoh-like fondant is blue. Not even commoners. 

-494957) Luxury cinemas 

The only people who like paying £25 to be shushed during an all-adult screening of Paddington are the shushers themselves. 

-658) Leather jackets on children

The surely “common” (read: fellow state-educated Irish person) Saoirse-Monica Jackson said it better, and first, though. 

-10) St Paul’s School

I’m not sure what it is or why I should hate it, but if it’s on his radar, I’m willing to bet a lot of the parents suddenly have a lot of passionate thoughts on VAT.

-10000) Food festivals

The peasants demand a food truck revolt too. Sitting and real plates ― the great equalisers. 

Other entries from this year’s list included:

• Books on decoration
• Yellow bags
• Insisting on discounts
• Clarice Cliff china
• Destination weddings
• The Welsh Guards
• ‘and a cuddly toy’
• Prosciutto melone
• Bamboo
• Almond milk
• Inquiries into
• Bach
• Attention to detail
• Succulents
• Primrose Hill
• Collecting baskets
• Leasing SUV cars
• Barn conversions
• Antiques Roadshow
• Unpeeled tomatoes
• Historical reenactments
• ‘in today’s money’
• Antony Gormley sculptures
• ‘What does that come with?’
• First course with lunch
• Anna Wintour’s ‘routine’
• Festoon lighting
• ‘The elephant in the room’
• Fire pits 
• ‘There’s nowhere like England when the sun shines’