I struggle to feed my five kids on £90 a week & can’t afford to replace old beds…how can I tell them Santa isn’t coming?
AS the festive period ramps up, Christmas TV ads show families in glowing, fairy-lit homes, gathered round tables heaving with food and opening beautifully wrapped gifts.
Yet for single dad Graham Read, these picture perfect images feel painfully out of reach.
Earning just £90 a week with part-time work, he can barely afford to keep a roof over his head – let alone piles of presents under the tree.
The shop worker, 37, has a 15 year-old son with learning difficulties that he needs to be home for, and five other children aged between four and 16 to care for.
He’s been living on a shoestring budget since splitting with his partner of 16 years.
“I had to start saving for Christmas in February just to give the kids presents,” Graham, from Brentwood, Essex, says. “But it gets harder each year and as they get older.
“You see those telly ads saying they’re offering great deals, knocking ten pounds off, but for me, a good deal is half the price. You do feel the pressure.”
Graham’s situation is mirrored by a growing number of struggling families across the UK.
On the day the DWP festive benefits bonus of £10 was announced, The Sun can reveal that nearly 70 per cent of Barnardo’s frontline workers believe the families they support are in a worse financial position this Christmas than last December.
An exclusive report from the charity also reveals nearly a third of Barnardo’s workers say they are supporting children unable to stay warm because their families can’t afford adequate heating.
Sarah Rowe, a Children’s Services Manager for Barnardo’s in South Wales, admits: “I’ve never seen things this bad.
“My worry is that the pressure of funding Christmas will override meeting basic needs,” she says.
“Children should not pay the price for poverty, but unfortunately, that’s where we’re at.
“We are helping a lot of families, who literally have nothing – no cooker, no bed.
“A dad we’ve supported over the years has two teenagers and a five year-old and is very proud and a brilliant parent but he called to say, ‘Sarah, how can I tell my little one that Father Christmas isn’t coming?’.
“It’s so shocking to get a call like that. He is such a proud person but he is in despair and he’s not the only parent we’ve had say that.
“I do worry how many other parents feel like that but aren’t reaching out to get help.”
Families huddle in kitchens
Families are taking drastic measures to keep energy costs down.
Sarah says: “We know families who will only put lighting on in one room. We found one, with three children, including a newborn, sleeping in their kitchen living space on one mattress to conserve energy.
“Another family was considering not using their oven to make a meal and having cold dinners instead.”
For Graham, heating his home is a constant worry. “Gas and electricity have doubled in price,” he says.
“The last few days, I’ve been turning the heating down when everyone else is probably turning theirs up. I’ve applied for an Essential Living Fund to help with gas and electricity bills, but I can’t pay my water – it’s overdue, and I just don’t have the money.”
The dad receives a Carer’s Allowance and Disability Allowance for his son with learning difficulties. He also receives Universal Credit. But it’s still a daily struggle.
Despite his financial struggles, Graham remains focused on providing for his children. Living in a three-bedroom home provided by his local Housing Association, he balances his job with caring for his son and managing the needs of his other children.
“When my ex left, nothing could have been worse than that,” he reflects. “Then my dad died at the start of this year. I’ve had everything thrown at me, but my priority is my kids.
“I’ll make sure they’re provided for because I’m a great budgeter and I’m not afraid to ask for help.”
The Barnardo’s report highlights the toll poverty is taking on families nationwide.
Forty-three percent of frontline workers say they support children who don’t have enough food to eat because their families can’t afford it, while nearly half (45 per cent) report that rising costs are harming children’s mental health and well-being.
When my ex left, nothing could have been worse than that.Then my dad died at the start of this year. I’ve had everything thrown at me, but my priority is my kids.
Graham Read
For Graham, the cost of food has also been a challenge. “Everything’s gone up, so I always have to think ahead,” he says. “I’ll shop around. Iceland has good deals, and sometimes I’ll go to Food Banks or elsewhere for discounts.
Though Graham is resourceful, there are still things he can’t afford.
“I don’t smoke, drink, or have a car, that’s a luxury to me, so I take the bus to work.
“I’ve got three kids sharing one room, and two of our bed frames are worn. They’re always asking for better beds but I just can’t afford new ones.”
Barnardo’s has stepped in to help, providing essentials like mattresses.
“They’ve been a lifesaver,” Graham admits. “So have the other charities, friends and people who’ve helped us along the way. My message to others is: Never be too scared to ask for help. The more help you get, the less pressure on you.”
According to Sarah, the struggles families face today are compounded by lingering effects of the Covid pandemic. “We’ve seen an increase in child poverty over recent years, but the families we worked with before Covid often had their situations exacerbated by the pandemic,” she explains.
“Young people are still struggling with their mental health, but so are parents. The complexity of family circumstances we’re now supporting is much higher than what we saw pre-Covid. It feels like it’s still a crisis for most families we work with.”
We found one, with three children, including a newborn, sleeping in their kitchen living space on one mattress to conserve energy.
Sarah Rowe, Barnado's
Sarah describes a heartbreaking sense of acceptance among children. “They often don’t talk about it, but we know they feel it. For many kids, a ‘normal’ Christmas means not enough food, struggling to stay warm, and feeling left out while others celebrate. It’s a far cry from the magical image of Christmas most of us take for granted.”
Graham feels the same pressure as many other families, despite being eternally optimistic.
He says: “I’ll make sure there’s food on the table and do what I can to make the kids happy, but it’s hard not to feel the pressure at Christmas.”
Lynn Perry, Barnardo’s Chief Executive, is urging the government to act. “Every day the two-child limit on benefits is in place is another day that almost half a million children live in avoidable poverty,” she says.
“We welcome the government’s focus on tackling the root causes of poverty, but without bold action to help families struggling right now, good intentions won’t be enough.
Barnado's reveal shocking stats
A survey of more than 700 Barnardo’s frontline workers has highlighted fears over how this Christmas could be even harder than last year’s for families struggling in poverty.
Two-thirds of Barnardo’s frontline workers fear struggling families will be worse off this Christmas
More than four in 10 workers are supporting children who don’t have enough food to eat because their families can’t afford it
Nearly seven in 10 (67%) think the families they support will be in a worse financial position this Christmas compared to last Christmas.
More than four in 10 (43%) workers are supporting children and young people who do not have sufficient food to eat because their families can’t afford it. Nearly a third (31%) are supporting children and young people who are not able to stay warm because they cannot afford adequate heating.
Nearly one in five (19%) are supporting families with harmful levels of mould in their homes.
The findings indicate that the cost-of-living crisis continues to take its toll on children. Nearly half (45%) of Barnardo’s frontline workers also said that the impact of the rising costs of food, energy, clothing and essential household items was harming children and young people’s mental health and wellbeing. Another 31% believe it is harming overall development.
“We urgently need change to address the devastating impact of poverty on children’s health, happiness, and hope for the future.”
As Christmas approaches, Sarah Rowe expects to see a surge in families reaching out for help. “Christmas is plastered everywhere as this magical time,” she says. “Children see adverts and think Father Christmas is going to come and give great gifts. They don’t understand why he doesn’t come for them, and why should they miss out?”
For families like Graham’s, charities like Barnardo’s are a vital lifeline. But even as they step in to help, the reality remains bleak for too many.
“At Barnardo’s, we’re doing our best to keep the magic of Christmas alive for as many children as we can,” Lynn Perry says. “But we can’t do it alone. If you’re able to spare anything this Christmas, please do consider donating to help support families this winter.”
To help give Christmas back to a child in poverty, visit barnardos.org.uk.