Woke morons celebrating ‘hot assassin’ will get their comeuppance when ‘real’ Luigi Mangione is revealed
PHWOAR! What about that hot assassin, eh?
I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on his massive weapon.
Know what I mean, girls? Wink wink.
Urgh.
So, according to some women — and no, Gregg, this time they do not appear to be of a certain age, more in their 20s and 30s — that bloke accused of gunning down US healthcare boss Brian Thompson was pretty bloody sexy.
As such he’s not a deranged psychopath who took another man’s life just because he was angry at capitalism and couldn’t get a shag.
No, he’s the hot assassin with a rippling six-pack, a tasty bit of alpha male crumpet who just needs a mucky cuddle from a random stranger.
And he’s only accused of shooting a middle-aged MAN fercrissakes!
At one point, online marketplace Etsy had more than 100 bits of “merch” drooling over Luigi Mangione.
They included such charming tat as a mug with his picture on and the slogan “Mama I’m in love with a criminal” and a “#freeluigi” Christmas tree bauble.
GoFundMe pages were set up to help with his legal costs, presumably so he doesn’t go to jail and is therefore free to date all these weird women, currently all hot and bothered on the internet.
Oh please.
Can you imagine if it was a “hot” female assassin being publicly fawned over by men?
If I was to objectify a cold-blooded lady killer here — no matter how much I wrapped up my obsession in ifs and buts — I’d be set upon by a furious army of feminists.
I’d be cancelled by the end of the week and become more of a pariah than, I dunno, a man who killed a father of two he’d never met. But the creepy idolisation doesn’t end there.
It gets worse.
Some woke-drenched morons have embraced this ghost gun-toting maniac as a freedom fighter, doing his bit for all those people whose lives have been blighted by the likes of Thompson and his “parasitic” health firm.
Jameela Jamil, a tedious British celebrity who’s never met a left-wing bandwagon she didn’t want to jump on, was quick out the blocks, posting on Instagram about Mangione’s arrest declaring: “A star is born.”
So far so cretinous from the notoriously attention-seeking Jamil (who incidentally is another of these me-me-me celebs who has announced she is “queer” despite being in a relationship with a bloke since 2015).
Self-righteous mob
Jamil’s anointment of Mangione as the people’s hero was met with much approval by her like-minded army of idiots.
Meanwhile, other Mangione sympathisers came thick and fast, from leftie no marks on social media to, worryingly, writers on supposedly serious newspapers.
Former Washington Post reporter Taylor Lorenz confessed she felt “joy” at Thompson’s demise before being forced to backtrack.
Meanwhile, one New York Times reader posted underneath an article about the killing: “Luigi Mangione’s lawyer should put the entire health insurance industry on trial and argue that Mangione was defending the public from a predatory CEO who profited off killing and bankrupting people.”
You see, Mangione’s supporters — the #freeluigi brigade and all those who ponied up for those short-lived GoFundMe pages — think they have an argument to justify their actions.
They would like you to realise how dreadful healthcare opportunities are for people in America and how “greedy” companies like Thompson’s exploit the sick and the needy for commercial gain.
Their argument is just ugly provocation masquerading as debate
Colin Robertson
On this they may have a point.
Healthcare in America can be horrendously unfair and big business is generally never to be trusted.
Yet in the context of what has just happened, their argument is just ugly provocation masquerading as debate.
Notwithstanding the spectacular irony of caring so much about people’s health that you are happy to condone actual MURDER, are the Left now suggesting that an acceptable way to settle arguments is by shooting dead your opponent?
So much for the #BeKind movement.
But anyway, for this self-righteous mob there’s a catch.
The more we learn about the oddball Mangione, the more his status as a swashbuckling woke warrior starts to unravel.
Apparently this Ivy League brainbox was against “wokeism”, was an avid listener to the Joe Rogan podcast and had even posted clips from right-wing weirdo Tucker Carlson.
Is a MAGA cap soon to be found among his possessions?
What if he turns out to be a — shudder — Republican?
Will this lethal lunatic’s fans still think his actions are worth celebrating?
I think we know the answer.
Bob Dylan… tangled up in who?
GOOD luck to the producers of the new Bob Dylan biopic, A Complete Unknown.
I’ve seen the film and Timothee Chalamet is superb as the young Bob, deftly capturing his infamous truculence – and, yes, that voice.
But depicting a much-loved icon like Dylan is never going to end well for any filmmaker as die-hard fans pick it apart, like is happening now, well ahead of its January 17 release.
Dylan is a towering musical figure who means many things to many people and given the complexity of the man, I daresay no one will ever be able to define exactly who he is.
Which is just the way Dylan likes it.
As the great man said, the answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.
Footie not so pure
I CAN’T believe they’re trying to corrupt the beautiful game by handing the 2034 World Cup to those head-chopping b*ds in Saudi Arabia.
I was just saying to my mate Cootesy over a fat line of chang how outrageous it all is.
He gave me a firm nod and said: “Buy the next bag and I’ll give their national team a red card!”
Oof, cheeky!
Then my man Ivan chips in: “Let me know which game it is and I’ll whack a monkey on them to lose.”
What is he like? Nutter!
I could see Pep wanted to chime in and then suddenly he’s in full flow: “Sounds like the Saudis have bought the World Cup. Now that’s what I call financial unfair play . . . see what I did there?”
Yes mate. Classic.
Kyle was laughing now, itching to pile in: “Hope Big Sam lets me go. I could take BOTH my families – they let you have FOUR wives over there.
“Sam’s still the gaffer right?”
“Not sure,” Glenn chuckled. “But I know it’s definitely not me.”
Absolute weapons-grade banter.
But we’re all agreed, Saudia Arabia is just too morally bankrupt to have any place in the whiter-than-white world of football.
Snort snag
THOUGHTS with Oasis fans this week. Not only have they had to endure paying through the nose for tickets to see their 50-something heroes, now they may have to watch them without putting anything UP their nose.
Dealers are panicking after £200million of cocaine was blown up after cops in the Dominican Republic found it in a shipment of bananas destined for Europe. That’s one hell of a wonder-haul!
Greta on ego wars
GRETA THUNBERG, the permanently peeved pipsqueak, has been out and about with her naughty words again.
This time the now 21-year-old has been laying into Germany and Israel at a pro-Palestine rally in Mannheim, Germany.
“F* Germany,” she thundered, cackling at her own outrageousness, before adding for good measure “and f* Israel”.
Jewish leaders were understandably aghast at what they suggested was bordering on anti-Semitism.
That may be correct. But one thing is certain – her outburst had everything to do with her ego.
Because like a stage school brat, excitable Greta now seems more interested in the applause from woke Gen Zers than whatever leftie cause she has hitched her pushchair to.
Fed up of fuss
A FRIEND is cooking a pre-Christmas meal and facing that most irritating of conundrums – what to serve those who don’t eat meat?
The sensible answer is of course: Nothing.
She is a far more generous soul than me, and has caved in to the “pescatarian” demands and has plumped for a whole side of salmon.
But another culinary quandary has been thrown in the works: “Lactose intolerance”.
So no dairy products – aka the heartbeat of a proper Christmas feast.
Eating etiquette is becoming a minefield with fussy eaters.
It’s time to bring in a law that prohibits more than ONE dietary requirement per person.
I SEE the “Hawk Tuah” girl could be facing jail time for fronting a dodgy Bitcoin.
Haliey Welch shot to global fame after a clip of her saying how she likes to, ahem, apply saliva when pleasuring a gentleman went viral.
Evidently well qualified to embark on a career in cryptocurrency, the school dropout then agreed to be the face of a new bitcoin called Hawk.
It rocketed in value at launch then lost 95 per cent of its worth, leading to claims it was a scam. I will never understand bitcoin but I do think she missed a trick here.
Surely she should have called it… Spitcoin.