If my girlfriend mentions the word “mortgage” one more time, I’m going to lose it
DEAR DEIDRE: MY girlfriend is like a stuck record. If she mentions the word “mortgage” one more time, I’m going to lose it. The truth is, I want out.
We are both 27 and we’ve been together for two years.
Right from the start of dating, she was on about buying a place and saying how much she wanted to “put a ring on it”, in the words of Beyonce.
I was in love with her so I happily enthused about things and she was delighted.
She still lives with her parents and is a receptionist at a spa hotel. She doesn’t earn a lot and her parents bail her out regularly.
We’ve started saving but I put in a lot more than her.
They’ve started building some new houses near us and she’s made an appointment with the site manager. Apparently we are supposed to be viewing a house next weekend.
She’s not the girl for me though. We have different interests and ideas. She can run the vacuum around her bedroom but she won’t cook, or do any washing. She does little for herself.
If we go ahead with this house purchase, I’ll pick up where her parents left off in looking after her.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Yes, this sounds less than ideal. Getting a mortgage together can be as complicated as divorce if things don’t work out.
If you’re unsure, don’t do it. Even good relationships need clear boundaries when making a big financial commitment like this.
Rather than ending a relationship you’ve been happy in for two years, tell her you want a serious conversation about how you see your future.
She may embrace making a home with you and that includes learning to pull her weight.
Suggest you both learn how to cook some new dishes and draw up a plan of how you’ll split the chores. She may welcome something new with open arms.
My support pack called Relationship MOT may help.
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