Is money loan request from new man a red flag?

DEAR DEIDRE: I REFUSED to loan money to a guy I have been seeing.

He said it was to buy a Christmas present for his five-year-son but I haven’t even met him. 

I’m 25 and he’s 29. We’ve been talking to one another for just a few weeks.

I really like him and things are going well but I refused to give him a loan because we have only just started to get to know each other.

The other reason which I didn’t tell him was because I felt it was a bit of a red flag. 

He did offer me an explanation, that he couldn’t get to the bank this week because he is snowed under with work commitments. 

He said he just needed to get this toy that his son has been begging him for. I don’t think he thinks that he has been inappropriate in asking me.

I am starting to feel a bit guilty; it is Christmas after all. Should I give him a second chance?

DEIDRE SAYS: Christmas or not, don’t feel guilty. You did the right thing by refusing him.

He doesn’t need cash to buy a present and even if he did, there are likely to be other people in his life, such as his family he might have turned to for this loan, rather than someone he has only just started seeing.

If you want to give him a second chance, that is your choice, but keep your eyes open to any further loans he may request in the future. 

At the very least they would be a sign that he can’t manage his finances.