In historic first, airline hires straight male flight attendant

LAS VEGAS, NV — In what industry observers hailed as a win for diversity, equity, and inclusion, Allegiant Airlines made history by announcing that it had hired the airline industry’s first straight male flight attendant.

The new hire, Jeff Bradford, had been trying to get a job as a flight attendant for years but was shut out due to an industry-wide mandate that all male flight attendants be completely gay. He was shocked to receive the news that he had broken the glass ceiling despite being straight his entire life.

“I feel honored to be the first man to serve in this occupation without being super gay,” Bradford told reporters. “Every other time I interviewed for a flight attendant job, I was immediately eliminated as soon as they asked ‘Are you gay?’ It was really discouraging. But I never gave up.”