Should I tell my ex that since she left me, I’ve been diagnosed with cancer?

DEAR DEIDRE: SHOULD I tell my ex that since she left me, I’ve been diagnosed with cancer?
She hurt me so badly that I want to make her feel guilty, but I know that makes me a terrible person. 

I’m 37 and she’s 35. We were together for six years.

She walked out on me six months ago, because she’d met someone else and said she didn’t feel we had a future together.

She was the love of my life and I was devastated. I haven’t spoken to her since. 

I was just starting to get over her when, a month ago, after experiencing unpleasant symptoms, I was diagnosed with bowel cancer.

I feel like I should tell her because I know it would make her feel really bad. I guess I want revenge on her for hurting me.

If I die, she’ll feel guilty forever. But another part of me wonders if she would even care.

I am so angry and confused and don’t know what to do with myself. 

DEIDRE SAYS: You’ve been through a big break-up and now a very scary diagnosis. 

It’s not surprising you’re feeling mixed up and angry.

Your desire to make your ex feel guilty doesn’t make you a bad person, just human.

But as you know, telling her won’t help you, or bring her back.

Before you do anything, it would help you to talk about your feelings to someone who understands.

My support pack, Have You Had Cancer Diagnosis, has more information, and explains where to source counselling.