The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Recap: What Happened to Dessert?

This episode. My God, was it good. There were moments this season when I wasn’t sure if Salt Lake would be able to keep its spark, but these last few episodes before the finale show that there is no need to fear. Everyone was performing at a season’s best and also most authentic. More important, everyone had something to offer, which hasn’t always been the case this season. I had been waiting for Bronwyn’s mask to come off all season, and until last week, I was uncertain if that would ever happen. What shocked me the most was the extremity of her vulnerability. I don’t mean that in a negative way — she just has played the role of loving wife so intensely that I didn’t think we’d see her air out something so personal this way. It was moving to see how her honesty and sadness helped her form deeper and more realistic bonds with the likes of Heather and Angie — and moved her further away from Lisa, who has never come off as looking more heartless than she did in this episode.

Let’s start with the dog bite. Last week, I felt gaslighted by how little anyone focused on the fact that Bronwyn was MAULED by a dog and still was on this trip to Mexico. I was really happy to see footage that everyone did talk about it, but I felt even worse for Bronwyn when Heather brought up how Todd didn’t come to the ER until her daughter showed him its severity on FaceTime. What can you even say? It made me think about how bad things have to be on a daily basis (infidelity aside) for that not even to be a sticking point in her retelling of the story. A lot of times, people in bad relationships will know which details to leave out of stories so their friends don’t question their partner. That Bronwyn was so open about that detail (and the infidelity, which I will unpack in a moment) speaks volumes about how she wants Todd to be seen by her friends. She went from starting this season presenting herself as having an unconventional but incredible marriage to slowly reaching a level of honesty I don’t think I’ve seen from any first-season Housewife.

I cannot believe how this trip is effectively a Vida Tequila spon-con for Lisa. I don’t think I’ve seen a Housewives trip feature more branding and self-promotion than this one, and one thing about Lisa is that every gesture of hers ultimately benefits her the most. It’s unsettling how much she parades the fact that she’s being generous and trying to make this trip “special” when its focus is so heavily on her product and one that nobody seems particularly excited about. But I was happy to see the women begin their boat hang by having fun! Again, there were points this season where I truly feared these women were too disjointed to be organically silly together, so I liked when they were laughing and dancing.

Of course, that happiness didn’t last — it never does! But luckily for us, the catalyst for what shaped this entire episode and what I believe will be a pivotal moment for the last two episodes of the season was Britani. I am pro-Britani and always have been. I think she performed amazingly this season: Her intentions are always obvious, and all she wants is to be seen. I love that she isn’t important in a real way but more of a connective tissue for these women to go off. Her being upset that her “announcement” was not received the same way Lisa casually mentioning her son’s social life progressing was a beautiful look into her psyche. She has no idea how friendship works AT ALL — I don’t know what she wants as far as support goes. I agree it sounds more like she wants to feel important than cared for.

Speaking of support, Bronwyn’s unraveling because of her frustration with Lisa was a slow burn I didn’t see coming in the first half of this season. She fully cracked, and she did an amazing job at explaining why her reactions have been extreme or why she’s tried so hard to maintain her polished image. Her life is breaking down in real time, and she can no longer pretend she has it so under control.

Lisa is not the first, second, or even third person in this group who you’d want to comfort you when you’re going through it, but her lack of warmth rocked me. I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone be so ice-cold toward their friend, basically saying, “My life sucks in ways you can’t imagine, and I can’t pretend it doesn’t anymore.” Lisa mentioned how she had no idea Bronwyn and Todd had issues like infidelity, and she couldn’t muster even moving closer to her in that moment to let her know she was still there for her? Lisa is known for her bad behavior, but she is now clearly the villain of this show and this season.

Bronwyn’s confession would be the saddest moment of this season had Robert Jr.’s sobriety not come up. Infidelity is very common in any franchise, but I don’t know if I’ve witnessed someone bringing it up with such honesty and also acceptance that this is the life they have chosen and resigned themselves to. I think in some Housewives marriages, it’s glossed over as an aspect of an overall bad marriage. And while I’m sure it privately makes the women in other franchises go totally insane, the way Bronwyn compared it to how Todd views his business acquisitions and that it’s more an unchangeable part of him, she’s willing to accept because she loves him more than she’s loved anyone was stomach churning.

Of course, it raised some questions. Was this something Bronwyn spoke about on a whim in a moment of vulnerability, or was this an attempt to punish and expose Todd for the cruel man he is? I also think that often, the women who appear on Housewives will do their best to shield the public from their husband’s worst qualities, even while going through a divorce. Just look at how Kyle Richards still defends Mauricio right now on Beverly Hills. I don’t say this because I believe it to be calculated or making Todd look bad is wrong at all; in fact, I say, GET HIS ASS. But the fact that her daughter was the one to discover his infidelity, only for her earlier in the season to present Todd as a protective and incredible stepdad, shows me maybe Bronwyn’s strategy for how she’d present herself and her marriage changed as filming went on.

Heather fully redeemed how annoying she was for so much of this season with how clearly she defended and empowered Bronwyn in that moment. Heather is the queen of projecting her own experiences onto everyone else, but this time it made total sense and was so needed. It was the reaction any normal person should have upon hearing such news, which is exactly why Meredith and Lisa are basically aliens to me now. I have NEVER in my life known a woman to react with a “both sides” defense to someone bringing up their husband cheating on them. I firmly believe that the phrase “girl’s girl” has been rendered meaningless, but I agree with how the women later analyzed their response as relating more with Todd in this story than Bronwyn.

I loved the flow of this episode and how the final dinner scene truly showed us how Lisa’s been backed into a corner she can only cry her way out of. Again, Britani is incredible at bridging together stories. I do not know why she brought up Meredith’s crying and alleged puking that way. Another confounding moment: Meredith said she was crying because of the slut shaming. I can’t even get into all the ways this doesn’t make sense, but if she was so upset, would she not have just talked to Britani, the recipient of the shaming? I think her cop-out to being truly honest about her life is to blame Angie or some other target she views as inferior. Again, Angie did well to shut down how stupid it was. Lisa chiming in for no reason shows how she believes her power is wielded in this group. Both she and Meredith think their tactic to turn any argument about why one of them is the true victim has lost its steam.

I also think Lisa was blindsided by how these women banded together against her bullshit. When she separated the sleeping arrangements by who was in her good book and who wasn’t, she believed she was punishing and ostracizing them into silence. But like an employer who thinks free snacks will stop their employers from unionizing for better wages, she played herself. Without a doubt, this episode was a season high. I couldn’t love these women more if I tried.

Snowflakes

• I’m so glad Mary made it on the trip, and it’s a relief to see, even in the brief moment of her and Robert Jr. interacting, that he seems to be doing better.

• Pastrami soup … I kinda need it now.

• Has anyone seen Vida Tequila outside of the context of this show? Why does Lisa talk about it like it’s Casamigos?

• Mary said, “What happened to the dessert?” after Lisa stormed off. It is comedic timing I could only dream of having.