Harriette Cole: Apparently I interrupt too much, and my sister stopped talking to me
DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have not spoken for a few months, and I’m really heartbroken over it.
We’ve always been close, but an argument has driven us apart. The fight started because she feels like I never let her finish speaking when we have conversations.
I admit that I can get excited or passionate when we’re talking, and sometimes I interrupt without realizing it. I never meant to hurt her.
It seems like this has been bothering her for a long time, and now it’s driven a wedge between us.
I thought the holidays would be the perfect time to patch things up. I was hopeful that spending time together with family would soften things between us and give us a chance to talk.
I tried to approach her and let her know I wanted to make amends, but she didn’t seem open to it. She was polite but distant, and it was clear she wasn’t ready to reconcile.
I don’t want to keep pushing and risk making things worse, but I also don’t want to give up on our relationship. How can I show her that I’m willing to listen and change without pressuring her?
— Sister in Exile
DEAR SISTER IN EXILE: You may just have to give your sister time.
If you have been dismissing and interrupting her over an extended period of time, she has every right to doubt that you can or will change.
Consider writing her a letter and expressing your remorse. Tell her how much you miss her and want to make amends. Admit that you know you can be inattentive when it comes to communicating respectfully with her, and you are deeply sorry. Promise to make a concerted effort to listen more actively and give her space to talk.
Ask for her forgiveness, and then wait.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently rekindled my passion for knitting, something I loved as a child thanks to my grandma.
I took it up again as a way to relax, but I’m struggling to complete my first project. I keep making mistakes and end up unraveling my work repeatedly, which feels so discouraging.
While I enjoy the idea of creating handmade items, the slow progress has me questioning if I’m cut out for this hobby. I want to improve my skills and feel proud of my creations, but perfectionism keeps holding me back.
I need to find a way to embrace the process and learn from my mistakes while finding joy in knitting.
— Knitting Challenges
DEAR KNITTING CHALLENGES: Don’t give up. Knitting is supposed to be meditative and soothing, and it can be — once you get into a groove.
Yes, you have to learn first. Go online and find knitting tutorials that you can follow to perfect the stitches. The audiobook “Knitting for Beginners” by Nancy Gordon might be helpful to you.
Find a local yarn shop and see if they offer classes. Some shops have knitting tables where customers come to build fellowship as they knit — and they often help each other along the way.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.