My childhood Christmases were stolen aged 8 by my family’s sick lodger – I won’t forget the smell of cigarettes on him
WHEN Kelly Abraham thinks back to the Christmases she had as a child, she doesn’t recall the excitement of waking up to gifts under the tree or happy times spent with loved ones.
All she can remember is the stench of smoke on her abuser’s clothes.
She was eight when she was was repeatedly targeted by Charles Chapple, 46, a family friend who was renting the spare room in her home and crept into her bedroom night after night.
Kelly, 44, who has waived her anonymity, says: “The abuse has dominated my entire life. Chapple would creep into my room and smack me on the back of the head to make me do what he wanted.
“I can still hear his voice, still smell the stale smoke on his clothes.
“That first Christmas after it ended I don’t remember a thing afterwards. I don’t remember any gifts. I don’t remember Christmas Day.
“Since then, Christmas has always been a sad time for me, a reminder of what he stole from me. Every Christmas, I’m reminded of what I went through.”
This is the first time in four decades that Kelly has spoken openly about what happened during her childhood.
She hopes that reaching out to other survivors will bring her the closure she needs and encourage them to get the help they need.
“By speaking out, I want to banish that ghost and get rid of those memories, once and for all. This Christmas, I want to feel proud of myself for fighting back,” she says.
When Kelly finally found the courage to tell her parents, Chapple was arrested and convicted of sexual assault.
She recalls her parents, who she says were young and in need of extra money, inviting Chapple to lodge in the family home, back in 1988.
Shortly after he moved in, the abuse began.
Kelly, who lives in Bristol, says: “The airing cupboard was in my bedroom and so he’d make the excuse he needed a fresh towel.
“He sexually assaulted me and if I tried to pull away, he’d smack me hard on the back of my head.
“He told me nobody would believe me and forced me to keep it secret. It was happening every night.
“He took me out in the day too, he’d tell my parents we were off out on the bus as if he was giving me a treat. But he abused me whilst we were out.”
Eight weeks on, the family decided to rent a film and with Chapple out of the house, Kelly broke down.
Kelly says: “Chapple went off with my dad to get the video and I couldn’t stand it any longer, the thought of him being part of my family and being my dad’s friend.
“I burst into tears and told my mother. Chapple was arrested that same night, and I had to do a video interview, reliving it all.”
Chapple, now 81, pleaded not guilty but was convicted at Bristol Crown Court of indecently assaulting a child under the age of 13. He was also convicted of assaulting a second child and in December 1989, he was handed a five year sentence in total.
Kelly says: “When we came out of court there were Christmas decorations in the streets and the city looked so lovely.
“But I just felt numb to it all. It was Christmas Day the following week and I don’t remember any of it. The whole festive season was a blur.”
Every Christmas, I was reminded of what I’d been through
Kelly Abraham
In the months and years that followed, Kelly struggled with the trauma of what she’d been through.
She says: “I couldn’t forget what had happened. I started wetting the bed which continued right through high school. Every time I saw a man with thick glasses, I’d panic it was him.
“I was terrified of seeing him yet at the same time I wanted to ask him why, I wanted him to know how badly I was suffering.
“Early in 2000, I learned he was living a mile and a half away. I didn’t have a photo of him, so I had no idea what he looked like, which made me panic even more.
“Every Christmas, I was reminded of what I’d been through. I couldn’t celebrate.”
How to report a sexual assault
- Contact a doctor or practice nurse at your GP surgery.
- Contact a voluntary organisation, such as Rape Crisis, Women’s Aid, Victim Support, The Survivors Trust or Male Survivors Partnership.
- Call the 24-hour freephone National Domestic Abuse Helpline, run by Refuge, on 0808 2000 247.
- Speak to the rape and sexual abuse support line run by Rape Crisis England and Wales – you can call the helpline on 0808 500 2222 or use the online chat (both are free and are open 24 hours a day, every day of the year).
Kelly struggled with relationships, leading her to consider suicide.
She says: “I saw every man as a predator. I couldn’t trust anyone. On the outside, I seemed OK. I worked as a fundraising accounts manager and later for the ambulance service.
“But I felt absolutely desperate. I tried to drown myself in the bath. I just couldn’t cope.”
With time, Kelly began rebuilding her life and now, almost 40 years on, she hopes by speaking out she will find the peace she needs.
She says: “I feel better, just saying it out loud.
“The secret has been weighing me down for so many years.
“I have nothing to be ashamed of. He’s the one who should be hiding away and I plan to enjoy Christmas at last.”