Suerte's canned tequila cocktails are basic in a good way

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

In the land of canned cocktails, tequila is crown regent.

There’s something about the agave-based spirit that seems to adjust to aluminum preservation better than whiskey, vodka or gin. Maybe it’s the brighter mixers that tend to accompany these cocktails. Zesty citrus travels well, and in a simple drink like a margarita or paloma it’s allowed to shine a little more brightly than in a more complex beverage.

Either way, tequila makes for an easy to-go drink. Suerte saw this as an opportunity — a way to bring its tequila to new audiences while highlighting how it mixes. Each of the company’s three canned cocktails features its tequila blanco, clocking in at a line-straddling balance between hard seltzer and high gravity at seven percent alcohol by volume (ABV).

I’m not super familiar with Suerte, but I’m happy to give it a try. Let’s see how it turns out.

Margarita: A-

It pours with a little more effervescence than you’d expect from a margarita, but that’s a feature, not a bug in the world of canned cocktails. It smells strong. The first whiff off the top is buttery tequila blanco. Even though it’s only seven percent ABV, it feels heavier.

Fortunately, the first sip leans in a different direction. The tequila is prevalent, but not overwhelming. Instead, the headliner is crisp, tart lime. This isn’t citric acid, which leaves a bready aftertaste behind. This is the real thing, which gives the impression of a fresh made cocktail. That tartness fights with the agave nectar a bit, releasing a sweet-and-sour braid that serves as the barge that floats the Suerte tequila along.

That tequila is clean and tasty, a light rush of baked agave and minor hints of spice. By those powers combined, you get a refreshing, easy to sip canned cocktail that offers something poundable for someone looking for a quick pre-game drink and a little complexity for someone looking for something to drink over the course of a half hour.

It loses a bit of its charm out of the can — pouring it over ice allows the lime and tequila to shine a bit brighter. Sipping from that aluminum is more of a “B” experience. But with a little preparation this is an A- cocktail — not quite elite, but pretty dang good.

Paloma: B

It pours a faint pink and smells both boozy and juicy. At 160 calories you’re getting a little more natural juice than your typical slim can cocktail and a noticeable uptick in booze at seven percent compared to the usual five. There’s a certain amount of… I guess for me it’s chewable vitamin vibes that come with the smell of canned grapefruit. It’s not my favorite, but it’s not a bad thing.

The first sip starts strong and finishes sweet. The grapefruit is pleasantly balanced between sweet and sour like the lime in the margarita before it. The tequila is notable but not harsh, imbuing the cocktail with a healthy amount of agave, though it could be a little more flavorful. There’s even a dry finish; nothing compared to a salted rim, but enough to snap off each sip after it leaves your tongue.

There’s nothing about it that really stands out. It’s just a solid, simple cocktail — bubble water, grapefruit, tequila. It’s dry but crushable. Strong but not overpowering. Clean and crisp. A perfectly cromulent drink.

Ranch Water: C+

There are only two ingredients here, carbonated water and tequila blanco. Not even a squeeze of lime! Well, it smells as boozy as you’d expect. It’s bubbly, light tequila after all.

And, yep, that’s all it is. The tequila is solid enough. It’s tangy and a little sweet. It doesn’t burn despite the ramp up to seven percent ABV. It’s simple and moderately low calorie (120) and totally fine. It’s not my cup of tea, but it’s not a problem either.

I kinda wish I had a lime. But no, no, this is fine. It’s fine.

Would I drink it instead of a Hamm’s?

This a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Suerte’s canned cocktails over a cold can of Hamm’s?

The margarita for sure. The paloma isn’t too bad either, though it wouldn’t be the first thing I reach for in the fridge. The ranch water wasn’t my style, but it was well made even if I was looking for a bit more flavor.