I’m in a loving gay relationship but my boyfriend’s family don’t know I exist

DEAR DEIDRE: I’M a gay man who’s in a loving relationship with somebody whose family doesn’t know I exist.

It was love at first sight when we met in a gay club in London two years ago.

He travels with his job and I do miss him terribly when he’s gone but we are trying to make this relationship work long-distance.

He’s back in the UK every month for a week, so he stays with me.

He’s Canadian so for the second year running, he’s returned home for Christmas leaving me alone.

I’ve asked him about going with him to meet his family but he says they don’t know about his sexuality.

It’s ridiculous. He’s 39 and I’m 33. How long can this go on? He says that it’s easier not to tell them but he’s met all of my family.

I don’t want to be his guilty secret forever.

DEIDRE SAYS: That’s understandable, but if he’s been brought up in a household where there’s prejudice, he’ll be nervous about divulging the most personal of information.

Your expectations are not being met so explain that you want to be part of his life in the long term and that means him being honest with his family.

Many people find that their parents do not react the way they envisage.

He can find support through FFLAG, (a charity supporting Friends and Family of Lesbians, Gays or Bisexuals, fflag.org.uk, TEL: 0300 688 0368)‬, which has a free downloadable booklet about tackling your parents about your sexuality.