I started sleeping with other women & think it saved my marriage – my husband wasn’t sure but now he loves it
WHEN you find the person you want to marry many might assume that they are your partner for life, but one woman wasn’t quite ready to close the door on dating yet.
Alice Lovegood, 29, revealed that despite marrying Matthew, 32, she still wanted to date other people after discovering she was polyamorous.
The experimental wife says that turning her relationship polyamorous was the best move she ever made to improve her marriage.
Alice says she always felt that her life was missing something as she desired an emotional and sexual connection with more than one person.
The sex educator told how being polyamorous is something she felt she had to do and was excited that her husband, Matthew Lovegood, 32, was ready to go on that journey with her.
She said: “I feel like I’ve always been polyamorous, but I never really understood what that meant or had a word for it, or that it was even a viable option.
“Then I started to learn more about polyamory as an option, and finally identified with people so I spoke to my husband and after we communicated we opened up to it.”
The couple from Bristol, UK, took the leap to become polyamorous after nine years of being together.
Early last year, they sat down to discuss how they would navigate their relationship and decided that opening themselves up to others was okay as long as communication, consent and care were upheld throughout.
Alice told how she lets her dating life flow naturally as she meets people she likes rather than using dating apps to find mates.
Matthew was reluctant to the idea of an open relationship to begin with but was willing to try it to support his wife’s journey and he is now fully onboard and enjoying their polyamorous life.
The couple set a list of boundaries and limits in the early stages including only having casual relationships rather than developing deeper feelings and making sure to always use protection.
Alice explained that the decision has brought up a lot of challenges such as jealousy but after discussing the problems, they found it helped them grow together.
She now says that being monogamous again is something she wouldn’t be able to do as it’s a fundamental part of who she is.
The pair enjoys the freedom and security that come with dating while also being in a long-term relationship.
Alice said: “It’s put us in a position where I think because you’re choosing each other every single day, you have to turn up.
What is polyamory?
Polyamory is the practice of having romantic relationships with more than one person at the same time, with the knowledge and consent of all parties.
It can refer to relationships where one person has multiple partners or spouses, or where all parties are in a relationship with each other, for example in a throuple.
According to You Gov, 6.8% of people in the UK have been in a polyamorous relationship.
“You make more effort in nourishing the connection that you have and ensuring that you have quality time and space to communicate your feelings and address them, because if you don’t, then it’s not going to work.
“When you’re in a poly situation, you don’t necessarily need someone to fulfil every part of you. They’re enough as they are and what they provide is enough because you understand that you can have different needs met by different people, just like you would friends.
“I just always thought that there was something wrong with me because I desired connection with more than one person.
“I feel like this is integral to who I am. And I’ve always felt a little bit like a caged bird so we just slowly opened and communicated throughout that opening.
“We’re raised in a monogamous society and we have only ever experienced monogamy, it’s difficult to understand how you would feel about certain things until you do those things and then realise how you actually feel.
“As we both felt reassured and more secure we reduced the amount of boundaries, now we have complete autonomy over our decisions to be with others but communicate and discuss these regularly.
“I currently have two friends who are more than that but they’re not girlfriends, we are intimate together and I have a very deep connection with them.
“We like to take every relationship as it comes and let them develop alongside our own relationship and that’s really working for us at the moment.”