‘This is the most tame of it’: Woman leaves home for 3 days. Then she discovers her what her husband’s really been doing’

A woman on TikTok recently shared a glimpse into “real weaponized incompetence,” and viewers were left stunned.

Kaitlyn Miller (@arianagrandesleftshoe) went viral after she posted a video showing the state of her family home after leaving it in her father’s care for just three days.

“Me and my mom haven’t been home for 3 days,” Miller explains. She adds that her dad was left to his own devices for that short time.

“This is the state of our kitchen and dining room," she says, adding, "This is the most tame of it.”

Miller starts filming some small details around the home: an open computer and a pile of recycling left untouched for days.

Then, it escalates. Empty beer cans and bottles are scattered everywhere. A bottle of  blue cheese dressing has been ruined after being left out overnight. The kitchen sink is piled high with unwashed dishes.

“He refuses to do the dishes, so he has run out of silverware,” Miller points out, showing a drawer containing only spoons. A roll of paper towels, left empty, sits nearby.

Her mom suggests leaving the mess for him to clean, but Miller suspects it’s more than laziness.

“I have a theory,” she says. “He left this ginormous mess to punish us for not being home with him for days, so I think he did this intentionally to try to make us have to clean up after him.”

Miller then pans the camera across the room filled with trash and clutter.

“This is what happens when you leave them alone in the house to their own devices, so pick your partners wisely, people,” she concludes.

What is ‘weaponized incompetence’ and how to deal with it

Weaponized incompetence is an unhealthy relationship dynamic where someone avoids to do tasks by pretending to be incapable, according to the Cleveland Clinic.

This behavior can be damaging, as it fosters resentment and undermines trust. It often leaves one person feeling like their needs don’t matter.

The Cleveland Clinic notes that common signs include phrases like, “I’m not good at that,” “You do this better than I can,” or “I never get it right.”

To address this, the clinic recommends open communication to express feelings, setting clear boundaries, and establishing expectations. It’s also important to recognize and challenge any tendencies toward people-pleasing, which can worsen the dynamic.

Viewers are shocked

In the comments, many users were appalled at the state of the home. Others offered advice on how to deal with the situation. 

“I say this with all seriousness—divorce,” advised one person.

“Do not touch a thing,” offered another. 

@arianagrandesleftshoe This wont b cleaned up for a very long time #weaponizedincompentence #narcissist #narcissisticparent ♬ original sound - Mike Literus

“In 3 DAYS he used all of the silverware and drank a whole liquor store?!?” exclaimed a third.

The Daily Dot reached out to Miller via TikTok and Instagram messages for further updates. 

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