My partner of 10 years cheated on me a MONTH after I’d given birth – but that wasn’t the worst part
A MUM-OF-THREE was shocked to learn that her partner was texting women he met online just a month after she’d given birth.
To make matters even worse, he told his Tinder matches that he was a single dad raising his family on his own after his wife walked out.
In a Reddit post, the unnamed user detailed the entire situation, including how she uncovered the infidelity.
The 27-year-old woman explained she has been with her partner, 28, for 10 years.
“We’ve basically grown up together, we’re not legally married but he did propose in 2018 right before we bought our house,” she wrote.
“We’ve called each other ‘wife’ and ‘husband’ ever since.”
The couple share a seven-year-old, a four-year-old, and a 10-month-old.
According to the poster, her husband works a “very demanding job,” which has resulted in her becoming a stay-at-home mum.
“At first, I stayed home because I was severely ill with baby number two but then he asked me to stay home with our kids as it would be cheaper than daycare,” she explained.
“This year he asked me to homeschool as well.”
She described how a “rocky” point in their relationship had led them to discuss the possibility of separating.
While the Redditor chalked their issues up to their busy lives, a message from an acquaintance made her realise their issues run much deeper.
“In comes a text from my cousin’s ex wife, she sent me screenshots of my partner on Tinder,” the woman recalled.
“The pictures that he’d used were taken a couple of days before, so I know it wasn’t an old profile.”
She added that her husband has even used the name they had agreed on for their future baby number four.
The woman said she was in denial over the revelation and decided to pretend like nothing was wrong.
“It was extremely hard [and] I couldn’t stand the not knowing anymore,” she said.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
“Yesterday, I made one of his favourite dinners and even made a pie so he could go into a food coma and go to bed earlier.”
After her partner knocked out at 8:80 PM, the woman “snooped” through his phone.
“I found so much. All in plain sight. Not much was hidden,” she explained.
While the Tinder app was not on his phone, he appeared to be texting three different numbers who referred to him by his alias.
“I found at least four different Snapchat threads that were him emotionally cheating with more girls, calling each other ‘babe’ and ‘hunny bun,'” she recalled.
She added that he claimed to be a single dad raising his kids alone since “the mom” doesn’t want anything to do with them.
The threads also included “explicit pictures,” which he saved in a hidden folder, alongside his wife’s nudes.
She noticed the dates on some of the messages correlated with a boy’s night he had a month after she’d given birth.
“He even texted me that night and told me how much he loved me, and how he was going to take me to breakfast in the morning,” she said.
To add salt to the wound, the woman said she would often cry to her husband during that time, worried that he wasn’t in love with her anymore.
“I would cry and cry, and he would hold me and say that he only loved me,” she recalled.