A giant Cheez-It officiated a wedding at the Citrus Bowl because we are a post-shame society

Bowl games, for the most part, are inherently silly. Outside of the College Football Playoff, they feature two teams with little in terms of established history or geographical interest playing in a game barely effects the final standings.

Teams play not for a national title but often for a generic trophy stamped with the name of whichever sponsor came through that year. In recent winters, they’ve been marred by opt-outs and matchups where the motivation levels of each side are wildly mismatched.

Fortunately, a sport that often takes itself too seriously has developed the self-awareness to lean into this ridiculousness. Late-season exhibitions held far from either team’s home base have leaned into their uniqueness regardless of the action on the field. It’s how we’ve gotten French fry dumps and edible mascots.

It’s how we got a giant Cheez-It mascot officiating an in-game wedding ceremony.

what just happened at the cheez it bowl??? a cheez it wedding???! pic.twitter.com/d52iKdeXA3

— Shannon ⸆⸉ (@so_shantastic) December 31, 2024

In a world where everyone is chasing Pop-Tarts Bowl clout, Cheez-It stands above the fray as arguably the thirstiest of the postseason sponsors. Not only were there multiple dedicated Cheez-It Bowls — one of which actually went on to become the Pop-Tarts Bowl — but the baked snack is also sponsor of the Citrus Bowl. So, naturally, this football game between two top-20 programs became the perfect backdrop for toasted cheese-themed nuptials.

Couple is officially married on the field at the 2024 Cheez It Citrus Bowl pic.twitter.com/VAkXFvx85C

— Lulu Kesin (@LuluKesin) December 31, 2024

Who amongst us hasn’t planned their dream wedding, hitched to the back of a golf cart and lorded over by a giant brick of carbohydrates with no eyes but, for some reason, stunner shades? Indeed, this lucky couple said “I do” in front of the hottest mascot of 2012 and the indifferent cameras of tens of thousands of people. Their footage will be immediate grounds for annulment should it be presented to a priest, cleric or shaman of their choosing.

On the other hand, if two people have the overlapping interests that allow them to be married on a football field by an anthropomorphic snack seemingly intent on cuckolding the groom:

Can a marriage even be legal if officiated by a Cheez It? pic.twitter.com/m2Z0rYPoy7

— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) December 31, 2024

Well, maybe they were meant to be.