My husband, 33, was desperate to be a dad but died before he got the chance – doctors said he was just having migraines
“YOUR life is never going to be the same again.”
They’re the words you want to hear after winning the lottery.
But for Matt and Hayley Smith, this was what a doctor uttered moments before telling them Matt had a brain tumour that would likely kill him within 12 months.
“We were literally told, ‘We’ve got some really bad news’,” Hayley, 34, said.
“They said to us, ‘Your life is never going to be the same again’.”
Matt actually survived four years beyond his diagnosis.
But the experts were right about one thing – their lives were changed forever.
Matt endured four years of gruelling treatment and uncertainty before he died – and before the couple could start a family.
Hayley said: “Matt and I had such a short life together.
“He was only 33 when he died, and there was so much that we missed out on.
“We’d wanted to start a family, and that was something that we were actually looking at doing before Matt became really, really ill.”
The pair, from Scotland, met as teenagers.
“I was 17 and Matt was 19, and we worked together at a cafe,” Hayley, now a project manager for a charity, said.
“I used to put little love hearts on the top of his cappuccinos.
“It took a few weeks to get him to ask me out.”
Eventually he did, and they quickly became an item.
Matt proposed on Christmas Day and the couple got married in 2015.
“We were just really close, like best friends as well as husband and wife,” Hayley said.
“He was such a sweet, lovely, caring human being.”
But not even a year into their marriage, Matt started having headaches and some problems with his vision.
Doctors said he was likely suffering from symptoms of migraines, but a trip to A&E in June 2016 revealed it was something far more sinister.
‘We were completely devastated’
“I was meant to meet Matt at an event and he had texted me the day before, just letting me know that he’d been sick,” Hayley, who lives in Glasgow, said.
“At first we thought it might be food poisoning. But when I went back into the house, Matt seemed a bit confused.
“He started speaking in what was almost like jumbled speech.
“I knew something wasn’t right and I couldn’t stop thinking about it.”
Hayley phoned 111 and within minutes, he was rushed to hospital in an ambulance.
A scan showed Matt had a tumour almost a quarter of the size of his brain, and he was diagnosed with a grade 4 glioblastoma – the most common type of brain tumour in adults.
“We were told that Matt had a year to live,” Hayley said.
“We were completely devastated. We’d only been married a year. We had so many plans.”
But instead of going into “panic mode”, Hayley started asking what they could do to make sure Matt was OK.
Within a week, he had surgery to remove the tumour as it was pushing against his optic nerves.
“I cannot even begin to explain the feelings and thoughts running through my head as he was wheeled off for surgery but I knew he would make it out as he was such a strong guy,” Hayley said.
“Matt was phenomenal after his surgery, and he breezed through radiotherapy and chemotherapy.
“So we kind of progressed with life almost as normally as you could for the next four years, and Matt lived a very healthy and active life.”
But things changed in April 2020, when the pair got the “crushing news” that two new tumours were growing.
Matt began to deteriorate, and he started experiencing terrifying seizures.
The night before Matt passed away, I somehow knew it was going to happen
Hayley Smith
“I remember in December 2020, two weeks before Christmas, I was decorating the tree and he had a seizure into it,” Hayley said.
“I think I sat and cried on the floor for a good little while.
“It wasn’t his fault. But I think that was the kind of realisation that, ‘Oh, this is not just a normal Christmas Day’.”
Matt had a second neurosurgery. “But this time, when I went back into the hospital, it wasn’t the same as the first time,” Hayley said.
“He wasn’t himself. His speech wasn’t quite right.
“He couldn’t walk; he was struggling with his mobility. It wasn’t my Matt.”
At this point, Hayley was caring for Matt alongside her job.
“It was mentally and physically exhausting,” she said.
“I showered him, I did all the cooking, all the cleaning, and I was still working in between.”
The couple then sought help from a Marie Curie community nurse, who “sorted everything out”.
But eventually, it became too difficult for Matt to be at home, so he was moved to a Marie Curie Hospice.
It was there he died on October 7, 2021.
MATT’S FINAL BREATHS
“The night before Matt passed away, I somehow knew it was going to happen,” Hayley said.
“He’d been asleep the whole day and when I said bye to him, I squeezed his hand and told him I loved him.
“He opened his eyes, nodded at me, and went back to sleep. It was like he knew, too.
“Then, in the morning, his mum and I were meant to be going to see him together, but something stopped me.
“I told her I’d let her have some time by herself with Matt, and that I’d come and join them in a bit.
“Just before it happened, Matt’s dad had left the room but the nurses came and grabbed him and told him to come back – they could tell he was about to die.
“As he took his last breath, his mum and dad were both there, holding his hands. I think, for them, that was really important.”
The most common symptoms of a brain tumour
More than 12,000 Brits are diagnosed with a primary brain tumour every year — of which around half are cancerous — with 5,300 losing their lives.
The disease is the most deadly cancer in children and adults aged under 40, according to the Brain Tumour Charity.
Brain tumours reduce life expectancies by an average of 27 years, with just 12 per cent of adults surviving five years after diagnosis.
There are two main types, with non-cancerous benign tumours growing more slowly and being less likely to return after treatment.
Cancerous malignant brain tumours can either start in the brain or spread there from elsewhere in the body and are more likely to return.
Brain tumours can cause headaches, seizures, nausea, vomiting and memory problems, according to the NHS.
They can also lead to changes in personality weakness or paralysis on one side of the problem and problems with speech or vision.
The nine most common symptoms are:
- Headaches
- Seizures
- Feeling sick
- Being sick
- Memory problems
- Change in personality
- Weakness or paralysis on one side of the body
- Vision problems
- Speech problems
If you are suffering any of these symptoms, particularly a headache that feels different from the ones you normally get, you should visit your GP.
Source: NHS
Hayley has been supporting the Brain Tumour Charity in the hope that one day scientists will find a cure.
“I think it’s quite challenging seeing people with families, especially around Christmas time, when I didn’t get that for myself,” she said.
“The gift of more time with Matt would have meant everything to me.
“By donating to the Brain Tumour Charity, you’ll be helping to fund life-saving research and ultimately just make sure that people have more time to spend with loved ones.
“I think the research that’s going on is incredible and will hopefully help people living with brain tumours to have better quality lives, and ultimately spend more time together with loved ones.”
Tom Parker's battle with brain cancer
Tom Parker was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumour in October 2020.
Doctors described his condition as “the worst case scenario” and gave The Wanted singer 12 to 18 months to live.
His symptoms began with small seizures in the summer, followed by a “massive” one while on a family holiday to Norwich.
Tom told OK! at the time: “I knew something wasn’t right, but I never expected it to be this.”
The singer was unable to have surgery but immediately started chemotherapy and radiotherapy.
Scans in January 2021 showed a “significant reduction” in his tumour, but Tom visited a private medical clinic in Spain for oxygen therapy, massages and a special diet.
In November, he was told his tumour was “stable” – but his condition quickly deteriorated.
He worked hard to raise awareness of glioblastomas, including writing a book, filming a documentary and organising fundraising concerts.
Tom even appeared alongside his The Wanted bandmates at several of their reunion gig tour dates.
He last appeared at the M&S Bank Arena in Liverpool on March 17, 2022.
On March 29, he described his fellow stars as the “dream team” in an Instagram post.
He died aged 33 on March 30.
The dad is survived by his partner Kelsey and two children, Aurelia and Bodhi.