Career and family: Siena coach Asque-Favia makes tough choices to pursue playing dreams

Simone Asque-Favia is the third-year volleyball coach at Siena College in upstate New York. She was an all-ACC player at Virginia and after playing professionally in Cyprus, Denmark and Slovakia got into college coaching. Her last stop was as an assistant at Seton Hall before taking over at Siena, which competes in the MAAC. Asque-Favia also still plays. She has Jamaican roots, played for that country in her 20s, and then last year rejoined the national team:

Last summer, Siena volleyball coach Simone Asque-Favia played a major role in helping Jamaica win its first-ever CAZOVA (Caribbean Zonal Volleyball Association) Senior Women’s Volleyball Championship.

It wasn’t an easy road.

When Jamaica first approached her about playing, Asque-Favia knew she faced many challenges. She had just finished her first year as the head coach at Siena and was in the midst of recruiting for her second season. She was getting older, and Asque-Favia wondered if she still had what it took to play at the highest international level. And she was also recovering from severe injuries sustained in a major auto accident.

And that wasn’t all: Asque-Favia and her husband wanted to start a family.

Asque-Favia and her husband, Ethan Favia, had talked about having children since they married in 2021.  Early in 2023, she said, “We started thinking (seriously) about starting a family and having the kids, the dog, and so on. I’m 33, so we knew we’d be hitting the baby window, so to speak.”

Asque-Favia already knew that female athletes face unique pressures compared to their male counterparts especially when pregnancy come into play. She remembered, for example, that track champion Allyson Felix left her long-time sponsor, Nike, when the company tried to renew her contract for much less money after she became pregnant. 

“I thought, ‘Wow, these peak women athletes are getting treated this way because [they’re] in the midst of having kids or planning a family, so they’re not as valuable,’” Asque-Favia said. 

Jamaica: “If you come, we have a chance to win”

A call from the Jamaican national volleyball team made things even more complicated.

Jamaica had come close to winning the CAZOVA title before, including a disheartening loss at home in 2017. Just as Asque-Favia and Favia started making their plans, she said, “the coaches reached out to me and told me ‘If you come, we have a chance to win.’ ”

Asque-Favia first played for Jamaica in 2014, and she experienced the frustration of the 2017 loss first-hand. She felt she had unfinished business, and she wanted one more chance at the championship. She helped Jamaica earn a gold medal at the 2016 Venus International Invitational as well as a bronze after beating the U.S. Virgin Islands in the 2014 World Championships qualifying.

But how did Asque-Favia, who is from Chicago and played at Virginia, and had been an assistant coach at Coastal Carolina, UIC and then for years at Seton Hall, wind up playing for Jamaica in the first place? 

Asque-Favia’s maternal grandmother was born and raised in Jamaica. When the country gained its independence from Great Britain in 1962, her grandmother moved to Canada to help open the Jamaican embassy. She brought her family along, including Asque-Favia’s mother, who later moved to the U.S.

That provided Asque-Favia with roots in all three countries, Jamaica, the U.S. and Canada. Asque-Favia first began to think about playing for a national team when she was in college — she was a first-team All-ACC player — and she knew it wasn’t unusual for players to compete for countries with which they shared a heritage.

“My father is African American, and I’ve always known that I was Jamaican on my mother’s side,” she explained. “Also, (my grandmother’s background) gave me the sense of being Canadian as well. I knew I had options as far as where I could potentially play.”

Asque-Favia, a 5-foot-10 outside hitter, figured she was too small to play for the U.S., but she thought Jamaica or Canada might offer an opportunity.

Meanwhile, Asque-Favia’s aunt became involved with the Jamaica Volleyball Association and she lobbied her contacts to recruit Asque-Favia for the Jamaican national team. Her efforts finally paid off.

Deciding to play for Jamaica again

When Jamaica reached out in 2023, Asque-Favia wanted to make sure her husband was fully on board.

Ethan Favia works as a UX designer, someone who tries to improve the user experience with a company’s services and products. Favia can work remotely, which has made it easier Asque-Favia to follow her career.

According to Ethan, pausing their family planning to support Asque-Favia and her quest wasn’t even a question.

“These types of opportunities don’t come up very often,” Favia said. “With age, and how long you can play any sport, it seemed like a good thing to do. For me,  it was more whether she felt that she could do it.”

“I mean,” Favia added, “Who am I to tell her what she can and cannot do?”

Asque-Favia soon learned that the Jamaican squad had been reconstructed.

“The team was very young,” she said. “(Team captain) Sasha Lee and I were the only ones who previously played on the senior team. The rest were playing for the first time at the senior international level.”

Asque-Favia realized that, as far as the players were concerned, she was “an outsider of sorts,” and an older one at that. She knew she needed to carefully approach her new teammates to gain their trust.

“Going in, I knew I had to be very mindful of how I made that first impression,” Asque-Favia said. “I knew that some of them saw me play when I was younger, so I had a reputation, and that helped.

“But really,” she continued, “I just tried to be myself, and thankfully they liked that. We bonded very quickly. Everyone wanted to win, wanted to push, and were very open to creating team chemistry and having fun.”

A winning result

Asque-Favia’s decision to rejoin Jamaica could not have turned out better.

After overcoming funding issues and a COVID-induced moratorium, Jamaica finally triumphed, defeating arch-rival and seven-time defending champion Trinidad and Tobago in a five-set thriller (25-21, 13-25, 23-25, 25-19, 15-13). Jamaica wound up sweeping all six of its matches, with Asque-Favia contributing 35 kills. Click here for the match recap.

Asque-Favia’s value to the team stretched well beyond her scoring on the court.

“I have my masters in sports psychology,” Asque-Favia  said, “And I really applied that knowledge. I was like, ‘Hey, you’re not the top player you used to be, but you can still be impactful. You can still encourage your teammates.’ A lot of what I did on the court was lift the energy [and] be that voice on the court that calms everyone down but also lifts them up. And maybe score a few points.”

Team Jamaica coach Ricardo Chong called hia country’s victory “an emotional win,” and he credited Asque-Favia for playing a key part.

“Before the tournament, we had discussed her role, not only as a player, but also to assist with some coaching duties, which included team scouting and performance analysis,” Chong said. “She was very willing to do whatever it took for the team’s success.

“Simone was a vital part of the championship mentality, as she brought experience as a player. She calmed the team in times of stressful situations, but also, when the team needed that spark, she was able to provide that fire. I think without her being there, we may not have had the successful and historical outcome.”

Teammate and captain Sashalee Thomas valued Asque-Favia’s presence so highly that she dedicated the victory to her.

Asque-Favia described her experience playing for Jamaica as a labor of love.

“I’ve always been very proud [of my] Jamaican heritage,” Asque-Favia said. “Winning the Caribbean Championship was a big goal when I first joined the national team. I knew I was getting older, so this one was really special.”

Back to upstate New York

After the tournament ended, Asque-Favia returned to Siena, looking to build on her successful first season as head coach. Siena, with an undergrad enrollment of just more than 3,500, is located just north of Albany. The volleyball team has been to the NCAA Tournament six times, the last in 2014.

A program that had won nine Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference (MAAC) championships struggled to a 30-98 record (23-56 MAAC) from 2017-2021. 

Asque-Favia turned that around in her first year, finishing 10-8 in the conference (13-17 overall) and leading the Saints to the MCAA semifinals. She hoped to see even more improvement in 2023, but Siena finished just 2-16 in the conference, 2-26 overall.

Yet, Asque-Favia is optimistic about 2024. 

“Staying positive is key,” she said, “A lot of what I impressed upon my teammates on Team Jamaica was not trying to be perfect, and focusing on the joy of playing and fighting to win together. That’s a huge element we are working into our team here at Siena.” 

Trying to schedule a pregnancy

Returning from the CAZOVA tournament also meant it was time for Asque-Favia and her husband to refocus on their family. The Jamaica journey ended in success, but they were now concerned with the approaching volleyball season.

Asque-Favia had to consider the fall playing season as well as the spring/summer recruiting period. She began to realize that, for someone in her situation, “There is really never a good time.” After speaking with other women who had children while coaching, Asque-Favia decided that May would be the best month to give birth.

“That’s a quiet time,” Asque-Favia explained. “The team is finishing the semester, so we’re not running practice, we’re not running around recruiting. So, [after] talking with people and considering my own preferences, May was kind of the window.”

That meant she and Favia had to think nine months in advance. Unfortunately, they weren’t successful. Asque-Favia has kept her sense of humor about it, but she admits that it was disappointing.

“We held off trying to get pregnant because of training and playing in the tournament, and then going into the season. So, the plan was to try for this window, and it did not work,” Asque-Favia said, with a bit of a laugh.  “That was actually extremely frustrating, especially when we didn’t win a lot. So, I was like, after Jamaica, I guess I wasn’t allowed to win anywhere else!”

Asque-Favia believes that the stress of trying to plan everything so exactly between CAZOVA and the season may have had an effect. Asque-Favia and her husband are now approaching things differently.

“I think I was trying too hard to make everything fit to my schedule,” Asque-Favia said. “It doesn’t work that way. You can’t control it. You can’t time it. And my body feeling all the stress from the season and everything else, that did not help. So, at this point, we’re kind of like, ‘There’s never a good time [to get pregnant]. So, the timing will be the timing.’ ”

She said they are exploring options.

“I don’t have too much anxiety as to, will it happen? It’s more when. Especially, with the advancements of medicine and other things, there are so many ways now to reach that goal.”

If she needs to, Asque-Favia said, “I’m giving birth in the peak of the season! Knowing my luck, I’ll get pregnant and be due the day of our championship game or something ridiculous, just to make it dramatic.”

When it happens, Asque-Favia said, “What a blessed thing, right? Because my career is important, but it’s not the end-all driving factor of my life and what I want to do.” 

Asque-Favia believes that a big part of her growth and development throughout her coaching career has been “Stepping away from identifying my whole success as being a coach. It’s remembering this is what I do, and how I can empower and impact the people around me, but it’s not the final me.”

Being a coach and a mom

When she first started coaching and thought about having a family, Asque-Favia wondered how she could manage to do both.

“How does this work?” she said. “I would hear about a lot of coaches who would quit their profession when it came to starting a family because they felt like it wasn’t doable.”

Asque-Favia even had a close friend and colleague tell her, “You’re trying to be a coach and a mom? Good luck!”

Asque-Favia sees that as an issue that many female coaches and athletes face, but which isn’t talked about enough. 

“If you decide that you want to prioritize your children, it’s almost like, oh, you gave up, or you’re making a bad example, It’s a really tricky spot for women, going through this decision.”

Asque-Favia is grateful for the support that she’s receives from Siena, but she knows that’s not always the case. Asque-Favia mentioned several groups that have offered great resources and advice, including WeCoach, an organization dedicated to supporting women coaches across all sports.

“They do a lot of events, seminars and talks, and I really take notes,” Asque-Favia said. “They’re so gracious, honest and sharing.”

Asque-Favia has also tried to talk with other women who have gone through the same situation.

“It’s so awesome [that] there are many, many female coaches with children that were head coaches while pregnant. They’ve been really inspiring, and I make sure to ask them, ‘What are the secrets? What should I do?’ I’m really thankful for that community.”

Jamaica again?

Asque-Favia thinks that the attention garnered by the CAZOVA championship can help build a long-term foundation for women’s volleyball in Jamaica. 

“I’ve already been in talks with the coaches about building training camps and finding ways to really enhance the public’s knowledge of the sport in Jamaica,” she said. She also hopes that her team’s accomplishments help attract more financial support for Jamaican women’s sports in general.

So, if Jamaica calls again, how will she answer?

“I’ll wait and see,” Asque-Favia said. “I’d have to really talk to my administration about it, and also see where I am physically. But I’m a competitor deep down, so maybe. I can never say never.”

But, she added, her main goal right now is starting a family.

“I’m not pregnant at the moment,” she said with a laugh. “So we’ll let nature take its course before I even have to worry about that issue.”

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