Skyy Vodka & Soda tastes like nothing, then like a fancy bathroom

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage (or food) that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

I’ve always had a soft spot for Skyy vodka. Not because it tastes like much of anything. Or, in fact, for exactly that reason.

In college, Skyy was a low priced vodka in a bottle that made it look a little cooler and more expensive. And in terms of mixing it with anything from pineapple juice to Diet Mountain Dew, it worked just fine. Thus, there were plenty of $9 fifths in my undergrad houses as I stumbled through the 2000s.

I haven’t had much since — as someone’s dad I am legally obligated to both buy the Costco vodka and then commiserate with other dads about how good it is — but seeing it in canned cocktail form did bring back fond memories. Would this spirit I always assumed was Swedish for some reason (it’s from California) live up to the low, but rose-colored expectations of terrible, dirt poor college cocktails?

Lemon and Elderflower: B-

It pours clear with a quickly fizzling head that suggests this is more seltzer than soda. The smell off the top is citrus with light floral notes. It’s not super appealing as a drink, but it is pleasant. Maybe a bit decorative hand soap-y for my taste, but that’s not really a concern.

The opening sip is extremely light, unveiling the 90 calories and four percent alcohol within. True to Skyy form there’s a hint of an impression that you’re dealing with vodka, but no impactful taste that swings the beverage in one direction or the other. The fruit is handled with a gentle touch — weirdly enough, the most lemon I get from this comes when I burp after a big sip.

The carbonation is light and there’s a slight sweetness that keeps this from veering into La Croix territory. Instead, you get minimal amounts of pretty much everything. A little vodka, a little lemon, a very little amount of elderflower. The end result is a refreshing summer drink that doesn’t really stand out. Then again, you can say that about most light beers, so here we are.

Lime & Mint: D

Let’s roll into mojito flavors, only without the rum. That’s not a cocktail I ever have more than once a year — if made poorly it tastes like you’re drinking a glass of toothpaste — but Skyy’s muted flavors could work well here.

The mint is the primary smell off the top of the pour, but it’s fairly muted. Stick your nose up to the can and you get the lime. Or, at least, the bready, citric acid lime flavor endemic to hard seltzers. Yay.

The flavors in this can are much stronger, pitting two powerful and abrasive tastes against each other. The vodka makes a token appearance, but this is a battle between mint and lime and no one is winning, least of all my taste buds. This tastes like it should be whitening my teeth as I sip it.

It’s not, so I cannot in good conscience recommend it. Gah.

Would I drink it instead of a Hamm’s?

This is a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Skyy Vodka & Soda over a cold can of Hamm’s?

Nah, I’m good.