Finding The Inevitable “Who?” Coach The Chicago Bears Will Hire

We all know it’s coming, right? If there is one thing consistent about the Chicago Bears, it is that they always find a way to meet with the most bizarre candidates for the head coaching job and inevitably hire one of them. This has been a trend going back almost three decades. The McCaskey family is consistent in their profile, for better or worse. Most of the previous six head coaches followed a similar pattern. Each of them met three key criteria for the

• Moderate success at his previous stop
• Not in high demand by other teams
• Passive personality that wouldn’t rock the boat

If you think that is too general of an assessment, let us review the history since 1999.

Dick Jauron:

He spent four years as a defensive coordinator in Jacksonville, during which his unit never ranked higher than 15th. Was the fallback option because the Bears’ preferred choice, Dave McGinnis, backed out.

Marc Trestman:

His biggest claim to fame was losing the Super Bowl in spectacular fashion to Tampa Bay in 2002. The NFL was so disinterested in him that a few years later, he went to Canada and became a successful CFL head coach.

John Fox:

Known best for leading Carolina and Denver to Super Bowl appearances. Also lost both Super Bowls and was considered so ineffective that the Broncos fired him after a 12-4 season.

Matt Nagy:

He had only been coaching in the NFL for nine years, with just two seasons as an offensive coordinator, most of which weren’t spent calling plays.

Matt Eberflus:

Had an okay run in college as a coordinator at Missouri before having an okay run as a coordinator in Indianapolis. Players felt he was corny and awkward, even at the best of times.

Only Lovie Smith seemed to deviate from the parameters somewhat, thanks to his standout success as a coordinator and other teams’ legitimate interest in him. Still, the organization has remained consistent since then. So, who will it be this time? I have someone in mind.

One name stands out as an obvious Chicago Bears type.

His name is Brian Schottenheimer. That moment of confusion you just experienced is exactly what we’re looking for. Schottenheimer is the offensive coordinator for the Dallas Cowboys. He’s been around the NFL since 2001, emerging as a quarterbacks coach before becoming the offensive coordinator for the Jets, helping them reach two AFC championships in 2009 and 2010. Those were followed by stints in St. Louis, Seattle, and now Dallas. Most of those units finished 16th or worse in total yards but last year was his best, ranking 5th in the league. Of course, he wasn’t the play caller, though.

Schottenheimer won’t be found on any lists of hot candidates. He’s lived in the shadows of others for years. That said, he is the son of Marty Schottenheimer, who won 200 games in the NFL. He’s an offensive mind who has worked with quarterbacks like Drew Brees, Philip Rivers, Brett Favre, Andrew Luck, and Dak Prescott. There is no way he would come into the Bears’ situation with the idea he should have any significant power over the roster. It is so easy to imagine the Chicago Bears brass talking themselves into somebody like him. He would be easy to control and can be sold to fans as someone who can help Caleb Williams.

Sound familiar?