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Human Lifespan Hits Upper Limit

A study published by University of Illinois-Chicago researchers found that advances in medical technology and genetic research are not translating into marked jumps in lifespan overall. What do you think?

“Those smug redwood trees must love this.”

Roberta Ward, Loom Instructor

“I’m good with capping it around 40.”

Stuart Dybala, Tally Counter

“These researchers are going to look so dumb when I never die.”

Gonzalo Ventura, Political Troubleshoote

The post Human Lifespan Hits Upper Limit appeared first on The Onion.

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