Woman Worried She Not Living 90-Second Ad Break To The Fullest

WATERBURY, VT—Not wanting to squander the precious opportunity, local television viewer Amy Branson told reporters Tuesday that she was worried she was not living a 90-second ad break to the fullest. “There are so many drinks in the fridge and snacks in the pantry, and yet here I am just sitting on the sofa,” the 36-year-old Branson said during the extended commercial break, confiding her fear that if she didn’t go to the bathroom now, she might spend the rest of season four, episode three of Below Deck Down Under regretting it. “You only get so many 90-minute plaque psoriasis treatment ads in life. Who knows when the next one will come along, or how long it could be? God forbid I have to pause the TV.” At press time, sources confirmed Branson had resigned herself to spending the remaining 40 seconds on her phone, looking at different ads.

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