10 things you should never say to your kids

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Parenting is one of the toughest jobs out there, and in her work as the Director of the Barnard Center for Toddler Development and the author of "How Toddlers Thrive," Dr. Tovah Klein has seen plenty of questionable parenting tactics.

While perfection is probably not a realistic goal to aim for, Klein spoke to INSIDER about what parents should avoid saying to their kids in order to avoid hurt feelings and harmful stereotypes.

"That's not how you do it, let me show you."

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Kids need to fail a few times in order to learn a new skill. Stepping in and doing the work for them will make them feel like they aren't capable of doing it at all.

"It gives a clear message to the child of 'I can't do this, only the grown-ups know how to do it,'" said Klein. "It actually works against [building] confidence."

"You're just being silly."

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Kids are unpredictable, but there's usually some method to the madness. 

"Maybe they don't want to say hello or greet somebody, and the parent goes 'Oh you're just being silly,' when in fact, the child is feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable because it's a new situation," she said. "It takes away whatever the child is actually feeling or doing at the moment."

Instead of shutting them down by dismissing their feelings, she recommends helping them label their emotions.

"You're so shy."

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Labeling a personality type based on a temporary emotional state, however, isn't helpful.

"Whether the child in general has a shy nature or not, at that moment they're feeling uncomfortable, but it doesn't necessarily last," she said.

See the rest of the story at Business Insider